My roommate and I set out around mid-day on Friday, the rest of our group was unable to leave work early enough to arrive at the park before dark, so we opted to go in early and setup camp. The drive was scenic, the weather was perfect, and we thought (I thought) we were ready. Truth is, the first mile of our hike was straight up hill, we gained 700 feet in altitude in under 1/2 a mile, and I'm not in good enough physical condition to lug my 30lb pack up that distance and not feel some bodily complaints.
We survived our initial ascent, the view was amazing, snow capped mountains in the distance, a late afternoon glow on the mountainsides, a cool breeze to bring relief from the more than 70 degree heat (which felt like 100 with the pack on your back), and the welcoming shade and stillness of a creek and forested area to setup camp at for the night.
Backpacking gear is expensive, gear for geeks like me (that research every detail) is even more expensive, because I'm not willing to settle for just a slight improvement. I want a tent, the glorious 3.8 pound, Seedhouse SL2 by Big Agnes, it's a full 3.5 pounds lighter than the tent I currently own and took on this trip. I currently own the Hoodoo 3, it's an Rei brand tent, spacious, solid construction, great for car camping, I got a killer deal on it when I bought it, but it's the WORST for backpacking.
Any way, we setup camp in our shaded little glen, and then we decided to hike a mile of both of the upcoming trail forks. After completing our scouting mission, we napped for a while, a glorious nap it was. We woke up starving, so I heated up chili on my new camp stove, I bought a Jetboil the night before we left, it was wonderful.
The rest of our party arrived just before I started having an anxiety attack, I'm such a worrier, it's a bad habit. By the time everyone was settled in for the night, it was only 8pm, but we figured we would get an early start in the morning. Not.
We got up, ate breakfast (hot oatmeal), packed up, and set out at 9am, not exactly the crack of dawn. We hiked another mile (up hill) to another fork in the trail, we decided to take a break and look at the map to see how much more climbing we could expect. As it would turn out, due to a poor quality PDF map, and our inexperience, the trail we had mapped out was actually 19 miles long, not the 9 miles we had anticipated. We decided that 19 was just too much for us and we rerouted ourselves to keep with our original mileage plan.
The hike down was wonderful, we made much better time than we did going up, but as a whole, there's a HUGE gap between where our best time was and where I want to be, better get in better shape.
I have to admit, a hope that I'd had for this trip, was to not think about certain things, I wasn't successful in the way I had intended. I discovered that the thoughts I had wished to avoid, actually fueled me to push through periods of the climb where I wanted to stop. (When I re-read that last statement, it sounds like I was using the word "fuel" in a way that sounds negative, like I was trying to overcome negative thought or situation, this isn't the case.) I have a situation which I have no control over, but I have full control over myself. I don't want to be weak in that situation, and it's the desire to not be weak which pushed me though the times when I wanted to stop.
We hiked a total of 10 miles on Saturday, it used up every ounce of strength in my body, it felt so good to collapse into the car to go home.
It was such a good trip, it was good practice. The thing with backpacking, is that you only have to carry as much weight as you want, it's a beautiful lesson that I'm trying to learn. In a counseling session I had recently, I was asked (I'm going to summarize) why I fight so hard for self preservation. What am I fighting for, what am I fighting against, what on earth am I putting in my backpack that makes it so heavy? We only have to carry as much weight as we want, it's our choice to suffer up those hills carrying the weight of the world.
My shoulders are bruised from the weight of my bag, a great example of more than the result of this trip. It's our choice to carry the weight we carry, alone or with a hiking buddy, it's still our singular choice to carry bricks. "My yoke is easy and my burden is light", I don't need to carry the weight of the world on my bruised little shoulders, they weren't designed for the load.
My backpack is sitting in my room, it's waiting for me to unpack it. My pastor says to pray for death, not the physical, but spiritually, daily. Pray for the death of self preservation, for the need to carry that load of bricks uphill. Pray daily for death. Unpack your bag and put it away, it's not yours to carry anymore.
It was a great trip.
