I can't believe it's Monday, seven days have past since the previous Monday, seven very fast days that also went by with elegance and peace. Today is a new Monday, full of possibilities and experiences yet to be had, new joys yet to come and new hurts yet to be felt. Today is Monday.
A subject I've addressed but not discussed in great detail, is the act of loving selflessly. It's a huge subject, a concept that you really can't reach the limits of, only find the borders of what your mind can grasp and then further try to understand the concept of you're not being able to understand that the subject is even greater.
It's an awful thing to ask God to teach you how to be selfless, it's like asking for patience, because He'll give you struggles that will teach you how to be patient. Being selfless through love, means that you'll face situations that will make you happy, but you have to choose to deny your want for that happiness (in whatever amount or on whatever level) in order to accomplish the desire of someone or something else outside of yourself.
In recent weeks, several things have become very clear to me about what my wants, needs, and desires are. A seed of joy (not yet felt, just planted) had begun to put down roots, and it was all due a desire to finally surrender my want to the will of someone who knows better.
A week ago today, I was given something that added happiness to me, something I'd been asking for. This weekend, God asked me to trust him enough to be willing to give it back to him. I knew immediately in my spirit that this was Him teaching me how to be selfless, but it's the last thing in the world I wanted to trust him with.
I prayed, I asked him to change his mind and withdraw his request. Anything but that. Sunday, I stepped out of the boat and stood on the water, I'm trying with everything I have in me to focus on the hope he's trying to give me and not the fact that I'm standing on the sea and can't swim. I did what he asked me to be willing to do.
"Do you trust me?" I've been asked that before and ignored the question. I'm going to be asked that same question for the rest of my days, I'll be asked that because I asked God to make me selfless and he's faithful in a way that I can never be.
It's "Get Happy in 2011", happiness is only real if it comes from joy and joy is something you can't earn, it's something you're given as a selfless gift by the Father in heaven. Getting happy this year, might hurt more than I wanted, but it's all going to be ok. It's going to be ok, because I'm choosing to trust him and step out of the boat.
